Well, I still have a job, though I'm not sure how happy I am about it. Ella hates me, she's horrible when she's in a bad mood with someone so life from now on should be fun. I keep getting told 'things can just go back to normal' well.. yeah. Fucking right. I'm not allowed to move to the Bay now so it's worked out quite nicely for everyone but me. I get stuck in a town and restaurant I hate, with a boss that hate's me. Fucking A. Just cause of a stupid little mistake, and I do see it as a little mistake. Stupid fucking company it's rediculous. I'm furious. Grateful to whoever saved my job admittedly, though no clue who saved it, Ella or Helen... they're telling me it was the other. Also grateful to Helen for being so nice to me..

Anyway. I don't want to stay there anymore really. I was at this area meeting thing on Thursday and being told our staff aren't passionate about the new menu.. we are supposed to make them care. Being passionate about microwaved food is way beyond impossible when you're being paid £5.05ph in my opinion. Basically got slated by the Cardiff GM, I don't doubt he's good at his job but there is no reason, ever, to be so fucking rude. We got told that we're all doing a shit job at everything, from labour & stock control, to floor plans. I've always done my best to do as much work as I can to help Ella cause there is so much to do but I just can't be fucking arsed anymore. Never once got a thanks, and now because of doing something I know for damn sure she's done before, just not got caught for, I'm the stupid little retard who can't run a fucking shift.

On a happier note I've found a job that sounds really good, Assistant Manager at a really nice restaurant, that serves REAL food.. I match the criteria for the job and then some, so I shall be sending them my CV tomorrow. Duno what the money's like though.

If I can't find anything I'll stay at Chiqs. Have been seriously looking into going to Aus in September for the year I was planning on doing after S-E Asia.. I recon it's do-able. Definitely. So that's plan B!

I went to Subtone last night with Sarah. Only had a bottle of wine but I was completely ruined. Ended up sat in a doorway with her, some random brummy and another guy. Saw kirsty with her sugar daddy.. yuck. I just don't see how she can do it!! I don't care how much money
he has & spends on her.. I just.. urgh how can you sleep with someone that old and repulsive just for money?! It's just wrong. Grr, my mum stole some of my sparkling water and didn't put the lid back on properly so it's all flat :( :(

I went to my Dad's today, was really nice.. I washed Pierre, my Dad washed his swanky new beamer, Hannah was playing with her friends and just being cute, Ca was drinking wine and chatting.. Was like a proper family.. nice. When I'd washed Pierre I went and played with Hannah, I wowed her with my immense skipping skills and jumped about on her trampoline.. was just a really nice day. Am happy.. Things are most definately better now, Though I wish everyone wasn't going away.

Blaaaaaaaaaaah. I don't understand why I am still awake.. I don't know what makes me think it's a good idea to spend hours on the internet.. I always do it, always.. Whyyy? I don't even know how I manage to waste so much time doing literally nothing.. Stupid fucking internet.

I went out last night and got rather drunk, we weren't out for long.. we had 2 bottles of wine before we even went into town.. oops. Met some random dutch lads and we sang to cheesy music in yeates'.. I smuggled a bottle of wine into Subtone and.. yeah. That's about it.

Had to work at 9 this morning which was entertaining as ever.. love my job, but sometimes it's just sooo shit. Hangover can't have helped I suppose..

I wish I could randomly fall upon a few grand. £5k would do nicely.. could pay off my credit card, and leave the country. Recon I could make a few grand last a long time, then I could work in Aus or somewhere for a year to make some more.. Tis going to take at least 2 years to save as much as I want to.. but that is good I guess cause I can make a footprint in TRG.. hopefullly then will have something to come back to if I do decide to come back..

Awh Shaunny just text me & called me Angel Eyes :) Made me smiile.. am not a happy bunny at the mo, most of the time. Bahhhh. I'm going to go try get into 'catch 22' cause apparently it's really good.. but it hasn't sucked me in yet. Need to escape from reality for a bit.

I still want a hug, and havent had one. I used to have loads of huggy mates, all ready to give a looovely hug whenever one was needed.. Nobody hugs anymore :( Owwww

Moan moan moan, whinge whinge whinge, groan groan groan, mi... *ahem*

I am NOT happy. Infact, you could definately say I am rather upset.. I think, I am going to go and get drunk. And maybe find some other fun substances to abuse my body with, fuck giving up shit.. grrrrrrr. Anger & Sadness x 1,000,000.. and a little bit more, of course.